I am Sorry

Blue.

Blue.

Blue.

I said something wrong today. I said something wrong today...to one of my dear sista gang member. I felt sorry...I feel bad...I shudn't have said that sentence...I shud have think twice and gulp the words into my stomach. I don't know that it've actually bring such a big respond from her.


Was having a conversation at facebook dis evening wid her. We were some sort like discussing how to celebrate our dear fren's birthday. She is the organizer and she asked for my opinions. After all the words that we have talked, she eventually can't turn up for the lunch that is being set by the birthday gal's bf. She said she is busy for work. I asked, how if we make it for dinner time? She can't make it as well, coz she have got dinner wid her dearest and the family. I told her, I said "To be frank, you know why you wil b the organizer this time? that's bcoz you barely turn up recently, and you are sometimes like...out of the gang". Yea. I said these. AND nxt up, yea...brainless me tat said this words made my fren angry and sad. Afterall, I am not understanding.


I told her. "I understand that you need to work", "I understand that everybody is busy". Rite, brainless me, if I srsly understand then I shud hav gulp the words deep down in my heart. I thought I was only telling what I am thinking, and I never tot that it wil srsly hurt my fren so badly. "You shud have understand why ppl can't make it, some of us have got classes, we are not all like you, so free on Saturday and Sunday!" So Yea. I am not understanding afterall.


Can I blame these to my horoscope? I mean...well...I am a very straightforward person and I always don't know that I have actually said something wrong and it have hurt others' feelings. Hmmph...well...I shud have learnt from my lessonssss earlier, but I never do, coz...I srsly don't know when I've said something wrong and what I've said wrong. I srsly said sorry and apologize from the bottom of my heart when I know that I said or did something wrong. Hmmph...well...ppl might think that I shud've learnt from my lesson, and well, yea...obviously I didn't. I guess...I might as well shut my mouth and say nothing. =X


I mentioned in quite a couple of posts bout my sista gang. We seldom have chance to meet up nowadays because everybody is busy. There are a couple of times when we have actually dated each other out, she is the one that didn't turn up, and perhaps, I've started to guess..."is she really that bz?" I mean...you know...out of all these busy busy stuff, it depends on, you have got heart or not. AND, I always told myself that, "when somebody doesn't care, means, somebody won't have heart towards something". Having this stupid thought in my mind, made me misunderstand my fren.


As she is always busy and we barely have time to catch up with each other, I don't know what she is really up to recently, and, she is like MIA. I have this very selfish thought, I thought that she have only got time to spend wid her sweet one but not the sista gang. The dinners, the other activities are much much more important compare to the sista gang. I starts to have this very selfish thought since the day I read a post from my ex-manager, which is her kelic. We dated her earlier to celebrate her birthday which is fall on 22nd July. Everybody said Okay for that and she suddenly asked to postpone the celebration to 23rd July. I was thinking, well, rite, different people have different thought, we shud have keep that day for her dearest one to celebrate birthday for her. =)(for me I would rather celebrate wid my sista gang tho...) So Yea, I didn't ask anything until I find out that she is actually celebrating her birthday wid her kelics. She postponed our date bcoz she want to celebrate her special day with her kelics. I am like...wat the...=.=" So now, we are not really important in her heart. =) Fine. I shud hav be more understanding. Maybe her kelics can only make it on that day, I shud have be more understanding as her fren for so many years. Rite. I throw it at the back of my mind and forget about it. As long as she is happy with it, we shud feel great. Yea. I told myself that.


She said that she knew we will think like that, like "she is avoiding us", "she is finding excuses to join our outing", "she don't belong to the gang anymore". I was thinking..."possible to be...when you have this tot...means, you are actually doing it?", "I mean...when you don't tend to do it, then you wont think about all these consequences." Correct? Well. It only apply to me, perhaps. I was telling her, mayb bcoz we din catch up wid each other for so long that we have these kind of misunderstanding, you can actually voice out if you don't feel comfortable, we can talk. I am only giving my opinions and share my feelings. "It's not that I don't wanna join you guys for the outing, I've got no transport and I don't wanna mafan you guys!" Hmmph...I tot this is not an issue tho. I mean, I always don't mind to be a driver, especially towards my dear sista gang, of course. Then She said "For wat I wanna tel u guys bout my problem? I don't wanna make u guys kelian(pity) me!" I am like...well...I tot we shud always share our feelings as a sista. AND how am I going to know what happened to you when you don't share your feelings? I told her I am sorry, I shud have catch up wid her often, I shud have know what is she up to before I point the finger to her.



So Yea. Didn't catch up wid each other causes misundestanding and end up I am not understanding.


Gahhhh...I don't know what am I talking about now. My brain is srsly not well-structured now. Rite. I shud have keep my mouth shut and don't talk often. Shhh...miao.

T_T

and

I am seriously sorry to

you, you, you and you

if I've said something wrong.

I seriously don't know when I've said something wrong and what I've said wrong.

You can actually hint me, or scold me, if I did.


I will try to learn from the lessons.


Hmmph...


well,

maybe I just did in this post.

I shudn't blog about it.

ARGH!


Whatever.

Gonna have sleepless nite.